As Written By The Secret Society Of Men

Rule # 1: Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2: If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule # 3: If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 4: It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 5: Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

Rule # 6: Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

Rule # 7: You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

Rule # 8: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 9: Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Rule # 10: Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their chest stared at.

Rule # 11: When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Rule # 12: Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.