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- We need = I want
- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
- We need to talk = I need to complain
- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
- You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
- Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
- Are you listening to me!? = (Too late, you're dead.)
- Yes = No
- No = No
- Maybe = No
- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
- Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
- Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
- All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
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